I had no idea I'd been gone so long. I guess my concept of time has been really...skewed. I guess I could say I've been gone so long for a lot of reasons. For the last part of December and through February, I've been helping to take care of my great grandmother(who I've lived with pretty much my whole life along with my aunt and mom). Her heart isn't very good these days and she had two heart attacks between those months. So after the diagnostic surgery, she really couldn't move much. I did my best to pick up as much of the housework as I could(Because if I didn't, she would do it and risk hemorrhaging. She's very stubborn that way.)
So that pretty much started my burnout. Both of our attitudes weren't the best. I was tired and snippy from cleaning all the time and she was snippy back because it seems to be her medication makes her get that way. So it was tough to do all that and get such a bad response. A "thank you for helping" would've been nice, but my grandma just isn't that sort of person, honestly.
So I hadn't really had time to make anything. And when I got time...I just didn't really want to. I don't know what is was that made me feel that way. It was a lot of things, I guess. I have sort of fallen into that slump where it's hard for me to cheer up. I've dropped out of school until the fall and I barely leave my house anymore(So technically, yes I am living as a NEET and contrary to how fun the internet says it is, to me it's a rather shameful feeling.) And every time I make something, I see someone else's work and think "I'll never be that good, so why bother? My stuff is so generic."
So I guess I haven't been making stuff as much as I have been experimenting and then scrapping the result every time. I'm sort of getting out of that now. I'm working on something that I am actually sort of happy with for now. I'm going to keep working on it.
But aside from all the depressing news, there is good news. I did finally get my embroidery machine! I'm still practicing with it and the result isn't perfect every time, but when it gets it, it gets it. I'm slowly trying to save up to buy a bunch of minky so I can sew and use my machine to my heart's content. Part of why I hate my work lately is because they're made of fleece. Somewhere in my mind, I now associate fleece with "cheap looking". So I rarely like the outcome of fleece + embroidery. Idunno. I think I can get over it. Fleece is always on sale, so it's what I can afford.
So that's my update for now. Summer is approaching, so I'll actually be able to see my friends and get out again now that they'll have time. The next entry should (hopefully) be a much happier one.